Do you fantasize about your wife or
the female half of the species?
Sexual Fantasy ... The Everyman's Mental Adultery
Sexual fantasy is every guy's dirty little secret. We start reveling in sexual fantasy as pubescent boys, and it's a habit that's hard to break, even for married guys. I'm a happily married guy, but sexual fantasy was a habit that followed me into marriage. I'm sad to say that my dirty little secret caused some problems in my marriage that I wouldn't have forseen at the beginning. Sexual fantasy is touted as "safe sex", but it wasn't as safe as one might think. I'm convinced that my mental liasons contributed to my wife's difficulty in reaching climax.
I remember the first time I saw my wife. She was the new girl visiting our church. Given the rarity of a new female in the group, I shot across the room to introduce myself. There wasn't going to be any other guys hawking in on this one before I got my chance.
I’m faster than she is so cutting her off at the door wasn't a problem. I even made it look somewhat natural, although climbing over rows of chairs in a suit isn’t the most graceful approach. An introduction led to landing a telephone number—and then to a date and a ring and a different last name—for her, I mean.
The first time I saw her naked sure was great. I can remember the whole thing. The only problem now is that I’ve seen her naked several thousand times. I remember the first few times as being exciting, but the last few thousand … well, they haven't been as enthralling.
But then … the change. One day when I was comparing my wife’s body parts to those of a glistening young female, I thought to myself, “But I didn’t marry those body parts.” After reflecting upon my mentally-meandering-man-brain, I had a realization: “Maybe I should start directing my sexual energy towards my wife instead of random women? What would happen if I made my wife my sole sex object instead of letting my brain saute in random sexual fantasies? Could I become more attracted to her?” It was on that day that I decided that my wife owned my sex life, not the female half of the species.
Since that day, there have been some changes in my life, to say the least. For one, I’m convinced that my IQ has gone up. When you can talk to a person instead of her body parts, you can be a lot lighter on your feet and not near as tongue tied. I’m amazed at the witty things I can now come up with given that my brain is now operating a few notches above base needs. It’s also great to know that all the time and effort I’m investing in a future with my wife and son won’t be destroyed. My days of imagining what it would be like to be with other women are over. I spent 13 years of dating to find a keeper, so why question my judgment?
Interestingly, my wife suddenly became way better looking. You see, when I stopped fantasizing about other women, I started appreciating my wife. When she didn’t have to compete with every other woman on the planet, my wife started looking extremely attractive. Even better, she became a sexually satisfied woman. When I started focusing all my sexual energy on my wife instead of random women here and there, my wife went from being a woman who had never reached climax to a woman who reaches it every time we try.
So let's examine this deal. I give up my mental liaisons and in return I get fantastic real sexual activity with my real wife? Wouldn’t you call that a fair trade? To think that the life we now have together was just hidden under the camouflage of my belief that a man can’t be happy thinking about one woman. As a former fraternity brother and woman chaser extraordinaire, let me tell you, you can be particularly happy with one woman if you will allow yourself the chance.
